Went to the Hamptons with some friends. The main street seemed to have been created by some self righteous, elementary school teachers, who lack imagination. Everything was white, even the anal retentive white picket fences and totally void of any creativity, it was street for those that roam the earth but had given up on living.
Friday, July 27, 2007
Friday, July 20, 2007
June paced through her room back and forth with the moonlight illuminating her thin silhouette like a restless ghost. She was cold but not the kind of cold that a sweater would help. Isolated alone and tired she sat on the bed which only made her more aware of Tims absence, it was his pillow, his side of the bed, his books lined against the wall. She wrapped her arms around her body and felt old. She had known Tim since he was a boy. Knew how he was the few to come from a good family and knew that he despised the scratchers for their poverty, the manner they spoke, the way they dressed and for all the same reasons that he now despised her. And as she got up to look at herself in the partially broken mirror its as if she had seen herself for the first time. It was garbage, her haird was dull and poorly cut, her eyes seemed too large as if she was always searching for change, her glow in the dark plastic necklace seem rediculous. she knew she no longer wanted to scratcher, no longer wanted to survive and no longer wanted to impose her image on any other human being.
The groups who had always liked her had sent there youngest members little bowls of soups, sandwhiches, which now lay on the floor untouched. She did not despise them. She felt sorry that they went through such efforts for her and felt sorrier that she would not accept the offerings they had sacrificed to share with her.
Slowly as if an inexorable force was pulling her towards the window she stood there climbing on the sill as delicately as a cat. And she stood there with both feet planted on the sill as if ready to jump. But then as she was looking down at the cold dark street she saw a young girl in the house accross holding the ledge of the building and forgetting that she too was standing on a ledge she gasped and thought what terrible thing to do. She was so suprised she almost fell down but caught herself at the last moment by the old curtain. She jumped back into her room and without throwiing anything over her pink slip she ran down the steps and accross the street. She stood their and both woman staning in their light colored slips, looked at eachother in for a moment in suprise, so that it was as if life had created this mirror of a moment. As if there was no one else left in the world which had suddenly been reduced to this little street and to these two girls. Come down from there I want to talk to you. The other girl started to talk but instead just shook her head. Come down, don't waste time. You can't jump, i have lost everything and I didn't jump. The girl said you don't know what you are talking about. Well come explain, we have all night, then later you can jump if you want. The girl stood their pensively, and cocked her head, what have you lost. I am not having this conversation this come down. Come down, the girl look doubtful but then suddenly disappeared into the dark window to finally make her way down to the street with a sweather wrapped around her.
These two woman sat on an old bench by the river bank and talked all night. Later they stole wine and talked more as the sun came up. It was as if they had survived the dark night and had went through a journey together so it was as if they were linked. The girl knew someone that could write and would take her to see her so that she could have her own book. But the June shook her head head, i dont' have anymore stories you don't understand. And the girl laughed for what seemed hours so that when she wiped her eyes and could finally see her friend again she realized she was angry. Then with a hand on Junes shoulder she said you just told me a story. And June looked in disbelief, she could make it into a story and if you want you have my story. I want only to go home where i have money and a family and you can help me. And everyone in your building has there own story, not what you see everyday, but there story. How they got there, who they are.
Sunday, July 01, 2007
We were called to the Scratchers. We were called that because it was said that we would try to scratch out a little money from anything. Everybody had their group, their gang, their family. Tim and June mainly just had each other because they Tim was better at scratching and less good at sharing although he needed June for comfort and storytelling. And June was great at storytelling so that we would all crowd around her late at nights and she would weave her tails. Even Tim was not immune to a good storyteller. We all lived in the same abandoned building but for the most part electricity and plumbing were fine. It was food and clothing, and getting money to do things that was an issue. There was no money for the most part in their area and no jobs unless you knew the right people. But they were the Scratchers and mostly only knew each other and mostly only helped each other.
The grey building consisted of groups of 6 or 7 and they would protect each other, and share information, and money and food. But as I said Tim was fussy and only got along with June. June had this way about her that everyone liked and as i said before she was an awfully fine storyteller. Sometimes if she had a real good one, she would dress in the park and recite for people on a small hill and people would throw money at her.
Anyway June decided one day that she was going to tell our story in Grey building but we all warmed her no one was going to pay for our tale. No one wanted to hear tales of Scratchers, and being hungry, and running around to make some money. We told her to stick to her own stories that she was so good at. But she refused to listen and for 4 weeks she told no stories but would walk about the building in deep concentration. Finally one day she told us all she was going to the hill and we watched her and Tim walk off as we alerted everyone they were going.
She made our grey building into a tower, she poked into our little lives and shed lights here and there so we could see ourselves for the first time. The time little Hat's brother got so hungry and bored he shoved little Hat out of the window and his fall was broken by Linder and how that section was indebted to the other section. Which lead to Linder's trying to use the dept to merge the groups to the biggest group. But that the other groups wouldn't hear of it so that they tried kidnapping members and then and on and on....and we all sat their looking into our lives as if it were in some strange tale. We barely noticed that there was not the usually crowd of well off Katers around our hill but a much larger number then usual. Nobody noticed that Tim was not to be seen, but he was there never the less, we know because of what happened. Well, apparently one of the Katers said this is good enough to sell and so Tim started writing everything down. He was the few amongst us that could write. And later he came around for collection as he usually did to collect money. After that we just didn't see Tim again. But some of us were like that we would drift some and come back.
It was only when it go cold in the winter and we all went back on the hill because June said she was going to re-tell our story and she was hungry that we saw Tim in a fur cape with a young woman with luxurious fire red hair down to her back. We didn't go up to him right away because we thought we were mistaken as he seemed so changed and fancy. It couldn't be Tim because it had to be some Kater that looked like Tim but then it was Tim. And as she sat on her hill with her best dark dress and no coat even though it was cold because she did not own a nice coat, the Katers all came around and said but she is telling the story of that book. The grey building and instead of listening they all talked amongst themselves and paid her no attention so that she lost her place until after much struggling she stopped talking as now one was listening and we were all watching the Katers exclaim they knew the book.
When we finally looked back at June she had turned to stone and was just sitting their as if her soul had left her. And if anyone was close enough at the right moment they would of hear her say very quietly to herself, "so this is what it is to have your very thoughts ripped away from you". And with this after several hours of sitting in the dark some of us took pity on her and forced her back to our building. She moved like a sheep, not following us but allowing herself to be lead.
Posted by Seaurchin at 7:21 PM