Caught!

Because I speak French I can eavesdrop on them, which is easy to do because they believe they are the only ones in the area to understand the language and so they speak freely, intimately, and without reserve. It was because of this that I once shared an elevator with a a young couple who were discussing how they could cheat on their taxes. Surprised, I turn around to get a closer look at them but my face must of seemed too alert for the casual glance i had thought I was mastering, their eyes widened in response like scared owls and they whispered for the remaining floors.

Ladybug

I came out of my air conditioned tower of lifeless air, lifeless thought, lifeless work. The ice resides in my bones and it take minutes for the sun to seep in. I sat down on the warm steps and watch hoards of people move through the tight sidewalks. After having finished my lunch hour i put my bag to my shoulder and collect my jacket to notice a small lady bug vanishing up one of the sleeves. "oh no my friend, where I go you will not survive" and i gently remove her by allowing her to climb up my finger and place her on the leaf of a near by plant. Freedom awaits at least one of us.

Hope

A friend sent me this story which I believe embodies hope and it's importance. Strangely, during the times when we need it most it is usually the most difficult to maintain. I share this story which I hope replenishs or adds to your source.
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One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well.

The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do.

Finally he decided the animal was old and the well needed to be covered up anyway, so it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey.

He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him. They each grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well.


At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement, he quieted down.

A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well and was astonished at what he saw.

With every shovel full of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up. As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up.

Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and trotted off!

Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt.

The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of our troubles is a stepping stone.

We can get out of the deepest wells by not stopping, never giving up! Shake the dirt off and take a step up!

Remember the five simple rules to be happy:
1. Free your heart from hatred.
2. Free your mind from worries.
3. Live simply.
4. Give more.
5. Expect less.

Rain

It’s raining very hard, beating everything down with a fervor and a fanciful frenzy. Sometimes strait, sometimes tilting firmly to the left as if aiming for some spot it suspects it may have missed in its strait downward path. It paints the day sky into evening offering dark puddles to reflect upon in the shapes of sudden bonsai lakes appearing here and there like random thoughts. The birds fly in strange leaps to make up for the winds unpredictable gust rushing back and forth towards the bird feeder…and as their is no need to be fearful of cats in the undergrowth they spread themselves on the grass not minding the rain but picking here and there at the moist soil. The weather eases my restless conscious that I should be running about on errands or enjoying my weekend in a more active style instead of hiding behind a book under the cover reading next to the warm radiator. This rain suits me and the birds just find.

Employed Again

My short lived stint of self-employment as a translator has now officially ended. I am now "gainfully employed" (cheers in the background - "Go Girl, Go Girl")

After many disturbing and disastrous interviews and poor offers, I have finally made my way into the industry that I had been looking to enter which is finance - check.

I have the ballpark salary I was aiming for - check.

The position is promising - check.

The position offers growth and the company is growing - check.

The people seem nice and down to earth - check.

It's as if all my checklist have been covered and all my wishes have been granted so now why do i feel so wistful? Why this lingering doubt? The grey cloud?

As much as this period of interview and endless searching felt demoralizing it also had a flavor of hope that all my efforts towards employment were refused or deemed unworthy by me so that i could maintain my course of self employment to eventually become a full time writer. I could end up writing the next Harriet Potter book and move to London where my writing would be aided by the cities rainy weather and a warm fireplace in a cosy flat. Not an apartment, a flat, like the British have and in my closets there would be many beautiful long raincoats which I would swirl around the city and sit in warm cafe in watching the rain. With this occupation I would travel to see my family as often as i feel like. I would take long trips by train and work on the move glancing at the countryside flying by my window while tapping away at my laptop.

Instead, on Monday morning at 7:00 AM I will be waiting on the platform for the LIRR to take me Manhattan in corporate attire where upon arrival at Penn station, I will board the bleak looking E line to my stop at Lexington. In this area I will walk to my office and work from 9 to 5.

Still, I have a laptop and my ambition, and with these as the British say I will "press on".

My Path

I am experiencing a pissy blogger moment. I just spent over 2 hours trying to find out how to add links and then slowly it dawned on me that the lack of information concerning this seemingly complicated process is probably due to the fact that the new templates have user friendly link option. And guess what, after spending all that time and aggravation trying to simulate computer code in order to add a link i found my efforts were not necessary at all. In fact they were an easy option in the new templates. Just a few clicks!

This only makes me worry what other time I am seemly wasting doing things the long complicated way when there is a simple shortcut staring me in the face. This fear is the reason why i am procrastinating investing all my mind attaining "full time employment". I believe there must a more fulfilling, promising and lucrative options. But where does that path lie? How many mountains must I climb before I find my way?