Friday, July 20, 2007

Grey Building Part II

June paced through her room back and forth with the moonlight illuminating her thin silhouette like a restless ghost. She was cold but not the kind of cold that a sweater would help. Isolated alone and tired she sat on the bed which only made her more aware of Tims absence, it was his pillow, his side of the bed, his books lined against the wall. She wrapped her arms around her body and felt old. She had known Tim since he was a boy. Knew how he was the few to come from a good family and knew that he despised the scratchers for their poverty, the manner they spoke, the way they dressed and for all the same reasons that he now despised her. And as she got up to look at herself in the partially broken mirror its as if she had seen herself for the first time. It was garbage, her haird was dull and poorly cut, her eyes seemed too large as if she was always searching for change, her glow in the dark plastic necklace seem rediculous. she knew she no longer wanted to scratcher, no longer wanted to survive and no longer wanted to impose her image on any other human being.

The groups who had always liked her had sent there youngest members little bowls of soups, sandwhiches, which now lay on the floor untouched. She did not despise them. She felt sorry that they went through such efforts for her and felt sorrier that she would not accept the offerings they had sacrificed to share with her.

Slowly as if an inexorable force was pulling her towards the window she stood there climbing on the sill as delicately as a cat. And she stood there with both feet planted on the sill as if ready to jump. But then as she was looking down at the cold dark street she saw a young girl in the house accross holding the ledge of the building and forgetting that she too was standing on a ledge she gasped and thought what terrible thing to do. She was so suprised she almost fell down but caught herself at the last moment by the old curtain. She jumped back into her room and without throwiing anything over her pink slip she ran down the steps and accross the street. She stood their and both woman staning in their light colored slips, looked at eachother in for a moment in suprise, so that it was as if life had created this mirror of a moment. As if there was no one else left in the world which had suddenly been reduced to this little street and to these two girls. Come down from there I want to talk to you. The other girl started to talk but instead just shook her head. Come down, don't waste time. You can't jump, i have lost everything and I didn't jump. The girl said you don't know what you are talking about. Well come explain, we have all night, then later you can jump if you want. The girl stood their pensively, and cocked her head, what have you lost. I am not having this conversation this come down. Come down, the girl look doubtful but then suddenly disappeared into the dark window to finally make her way down to the street with a sweather wrapped around her.

These two woman sat on an old bench by the river bank and talked all night. Later they stole wine and talked more as the sun came up. It was as if they had survived the dark night and had went through a journey together so it was as if they were linked. The girl knew someone that could write and would take her to see her so that she could have her own book. But the June shook her head head, i dont' have anymore stories you don't understand. And the girl laughed for what seemed hours so that when she wiped her eyes and could finally see her friend again she realized she was angry. Then with a hand on Junes shoulder she said you just told me a story. And June looked in disbelief, she could make it into a story and if you want you have my story. I want only to go home where i have money and a family and you can help me. And everyone in your building has there own story, not what you see everyday, but there story. How they got there, who they are.

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