Sunday, April 29, 2007


A friend sent me this story which I believe embodies hope and it's importance. Strangely, during the times when we need it most it is usually the most difficult to maintain. I share this story which I hope replenishs or adds to your source.

One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well.

The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do.

Finally he decided the animal was old and the well needed to be covered up anyway, so it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey.

He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him. They each grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well.

At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement, he quieted down.

A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well and was astonished at what he saw.

With every shovel full of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up. As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up.

Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and trotted off!

Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt.

The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of our troubles is a stepping stone.

We can get out of the deepest wells by not stopping, never giving up! Shake the dirt off and take a step up!

Remember the five simple rules to be happy:
1. Free your heart from hatred.
2. Free your mind from worries.
3. Live simply.
4. Give more.
5. Expect less.

Sunday, April 15, 2007


It’s raining very hard, beating everything down with a fervor and a fanciful frenzy. Sometimes strait, sometimes tilting firmly to the left as if aiming for some spot it suspects it may have missed in its strait downward path. It paints the day sky into evening offering dark puddles to reflect upon in the shapes of sudden bonsai lakes appearing here and there like random thoughts. The birds fly in strange leaps to make up for the winds unpredictable gust rushing back and forth towards the bird feeder…and as their is no need to be fearful of cats in the undergrowth they spread themselves on the grass not minding the rain but picking here and there at the moist soil. The weather eases my restless conscious that I should be running about on errands or enjoying my weekend in a more active style instead of hiding behind a book under the cover reading next to the warm radiator. This rain suits me and the birds just find.

Employed Again

My short lived stint of self-employment as a translator has now officially ended. I am now "gainfully employed" (cheers in the background - "Go Girl, Go Girl")

After many disturbing and disastrous interviews and poor offers, I have finally made my way into the industry that I had been looking to enter which is finance - check.

I have the ballpark salary I was aiming for - check.

The position is promising - check.

The position offers growth and the company is growing - check.

The people seem nice and down to earth - check.

It's as if all my checklist have been covered and all my wishes have been granted so now why do i feel so wistful? Why this lingering doubt? The grey cloud?

As much as this period of interview and endless searching felt demoralizing it also had a flavor of hope that all my efforts towards employment were refused or deemed unworthy by me so that i could maintain my course of self employment to eventually become a full time writer. I could end up writing the next Harriet Potter book and move to London where my writing would be aided by the cities rainy weather and a warm fireplace in a cosy flat. Not an apartment, a flat, like the British have and in my closets there would be many beautiful long raincoats which I would swirl around the city and sit in warm cafe in watching the rain. With this occupation I would travel to see my family as often as i feel like. I would take long trips by train and work on the move glancing at the countryside flying by my window while tapping away at my laptop.

Instead, on Monday morning at 7:00 AM I will be waiting on the platform for the LIRR to take me Manhattan in corporate attire where upon arrival at Penn station, I will board the bleak looking E line to my stop at Lexington. In this area I will walk to my office and work from 9 to 5.

Still, I have a laptop and my ambition, and with these as the British say I will "press on".

Sunday, April 08, 2007

Three Little things I Can't Live Without

My little (completely) white Averatec laptop on which I email, blog, search the weather, search the news, surf, buy things I don’t really need but really want, listen to my music with, play movies on, write zany stories on which I show no one, translate my work with, created reports on, infuriate my ex-boss with, horrified my computer-savy tech warrior sister with (feels it is technologically inadequate and is terrified anyone wood purchase a computer based on color and design –sorry Jen), skype my family in st.barth with, use to teach my mom excel, word, google and computer basics with (and to both of our astonishment has managed to survive). ;-P

Burt’s bees (Rhubarb) Lip Shimmer packed in a totally recyclable sensible package. It not only looks naturally great on me, it tastes yummy and is only made of natural ingredients, keeping my lips healthy and kissable, makes them tingle as well as the lips of everyone else I smooch encouraging them think I am a phenomenal kisser because of all it’s zing and slick feel.

Green Tea (loose leaves) which I put into an electric coffee maker. Not only do I love the taste and it’s spring-like color but it warms me and comforts me on cold winter mornings, and the caffeine gives me a kick I can’t get with coffee as I am allergic. It soothes me cold walks, bad fights, uncomfortable confrontations, cranky moods, minor failures (I don’t have major ones I write them off as life lessons) and tastes great no matter what time of the day.

Happy Easter

Saturday, April 07, 2007

My Path

I am experiencing a pissy blogger moment. I just spent over 2 hours trying to find out how to add links and then slowly it dawned on me that the lack of information concerning this seemingly complicated process is probably due to the fact that the new templates have user friendly link option. And guess what, after spending all that time and aggravation trying to simulate computer code in order to add a link i found my efforts were not necessary at all. In fact they were an easy option in the new templates. Just a few clicks!

This only makes me worry what other time I am seemly wasting doing things the long complicated way when there is a simple shortcut staring me in the face. This fear is the reason why i am procrastinating investing all my mind attaining "full time employment". I believe there must a more fulfilling, promising and lucrative options. But where does that path lie? How many mountains must I climb before I find my way?

My Sister the Mobile Tech Warrior

Yesterday my sister contacted me on Skype. She is lives on a Caribbean island with her beagle (my sis corrected be she has a beagle not a bugle as was previously written) dog, 5 canaries, oops, make that four after the cat accident, and 2 productive and loyal hens with her husband. Yesterday, having 4 days off for the Easter holiday, she had some breathing time to Skype me and we chatted all day.

I showed her my blog and she mentions she wants to blog too about her job and life on the island. She runs around from business to business all over the island repairing peoples computers and trying desperately hard not to show consternation on her face when she learns they have done the exact thing she has warned them not to do, which is why she is now standing in front of them fixing this or that. No doubt they can see how sweet she is and then will inevitably try to get around paying the bill.

Then there is her dog, Clyde, her baby (only 1 year old). This little package of love and fur has already cost her a small fortune in doctors visits. But apparently her love knows no limits and she pampers him and plays with him and tries to protect him from the sun damage and her husbands well deserved punishments. You see little Clyde can see in Jens serene blue eyes his loving reflection and knows that in her heart he is a little prince. So when he feels momentarily alone, or feels he was unfairly reprimanded he leaves Jen & Husband little packages of poop in their bed. Not having a dog, I can never hear enough of these stories. I also enjoy the frequent stories of how eat everything in the cabinets if he can get to them as well as their remote control, their computer mouse and anything else he thinks takes away their time from him.

I will let my sister recount her own tales and tribulations on her own blog which i hope to post a link up on my blog (as soon as she starts one and as soon as I figure out how to posts links on my blog).

Bisous Clyde & Jen we love you.

Thursday, April 05, 2007

Mesopotamia and back

At night, under my beige down duvet I travel backward to the beginning of time. The lions roar, the birds fill the sky like a tight moving nets and the fish struggle to arrive at the surface to meet me. They know the land, the tides, the wind. They explore all crevices, have studied the most minute of sounds, and know the motion that moves the planet as well as their own heartbeat. They understand our earth and teach me it's secrets. They are gentle and patient but firm. As their appointed leader, there can be no room for errors and I concentrate because I do not want to disappointment. I have only their faith in me and my love in them to guide me.

Wednesday, April 04, 2007


I was looking through one of the "Blogs of Note" and found an innovative blogger offering to place links on his blog. I thought this could be an interesting idea and perhaps generate some interesting comments from blogs of similar nature, an intellectual community in which bloggers could get ideas, give ideas and build on ideas. So I naively emailed the blogger and he very courteously emails me back a list of prices.

Favicons: $10/mo
moAvatars: $25/mo
moButtons: $50/mo
moBanners: $90/mo

How nice, right?

Perhaps this is good business sense if I were selling something that pertains to his blog subjects or even something that would interest his blog reader group, but I can't imagine paying someone to post my blog link? That's paying to be read. That would be the equivalent of paying someone to have a conversation with you or rather a monologue.

As it is my blogs are intellectual wanderings. Not billboard advertisement material.

I am tempted to email him back:
"I sell magical apples that make people obscenely wealthy, but sexually impotent, as this is a niche product which only interests a small group of individuals I would like additional information about your readers to assure that they match my market group."

Bad Interview

Its grey and rainy outside. It's wet and and moist outside as well as inside. I have all the lights off in my house except for a tiny antique restoration library reading light reflecting dimly on my white laptop. I am listening to "Cat Power - In the hole" from my headphones - it has this hypnotic quality to it.

I have been interviewing this week and running around NYC to find these offices. One of my interviews was laughable and makes me wonder if companies believe we are still stuck in the great depression so desperate for any job we are willing to jump hoops losing all shred of dignity.

Yea, well, no, I would do almost anything not to work for these companies. First of all I was given out an, 2 tests! After taking a bunch of Microsoft tests from 2 job placement agencies the last thing I was in the mood to do was take yet another tests when I was in interview mode. But there it was sitting on my lap covering my pin striped dark suit looking back cynically at me. On the top of the page it say "please no cheating". I am not joking. I tried futilely to squelch my frustration and fill them out quickly so they could be forever removed from my sight. I fantasize about burning them in the lounge of this self-important office. I already know I don't want this job however i have to sit through this interview so that my agents can hopefully send me to a job I may want who if I am luck may want me too. The test was comprised of a letter I needed to correct (grammar, spelling, punctuation) without making any changes to the content. The content could of used major adjustments. It is hard to correct something that doesn't make sense. I decided to do a quick review and not get caught up with it. The other part of their test was writing an email canceling a meeting scheduled for my CEO to another administrative assistant. I went to college for this. I earned a 3.5 at UCSB for this? And the pay they were offering was no where near meeting my criteria. I just decided to check out the company because the agent did such a great job selling it as a great place to get promoted.

I try to enjoy the irony, the girl who was interviewing who has been with them for 8 years announces to me proudly she went from floater (movable administrative assistant) to executive assistant. At that point an instant fatigue and headache started growing on me at an amazing speed as well as the desire to turn around and without notice just walk myself out of the office and the building. Mind you I still had my coat on so this was still a possibility....but seeing as i had already completed all my tests for the agency and had taken all this energy and time to woo them I sat through her 30 question oral exam.

Now i am wondering if i should proceed some more with these inane interviews or return to school. And if so to study what and where?

Which leaves me left to question. Is there growth after admin? Or do we forever just remain paper pushers and envelope lickers for ever? I always hear these great stories of people being promoted on the Internet and in magazines but I don't see anything that reflects this in 3D life?

In a matter a fact, I think these companies should take a bat and hit you on the head to possibly decrease your intellectual capacity which may make their mind numbing admin positions less painful.

Don't know why i chose the pic i did. I just liked it.

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

What goes around, comes around

What goes around, comes around
The sun sets, the sun rises
I inhale, I exhale
The tide pushes out, the tide pulls in
Night arrives, night vanishes
My eye open, my eyes close,
The moon shines, the moon fades
For every action, there is an equal reaction
Whether we see it or not
It exists, it occurs
It is a realty

Today, the boss that forced me to leave my job, is now being force out of his.

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