Sunday, January 27, 2008

No Patience


I have no patience. I am like a 3 year old child. I just started looking for a new position and already I am so impatient about my situation I want to give up. I went to the interview this week and they seem to like me. They said they would call me for a second interview. But still, there it is, this gut wrenching feeling that there will never be another job and that I will be forever stuck where I am. Which is simply not not not possible. However, If i am to be reasonable about it there is really no logical reason for me to feel this way as I was contacted by another head hunter Friday for a possible interview, and yet I can't rid myself of this loathsome heavy cloak that's dragging me down. It's not even a feeling its more of an infection. Spreading through me from my body, to my head, to my heart, causing me to be morose, sullen and aggressive. Even my legs refuse my direction and sit planted firmly to the ground like roots. I am torn between allowing myself to wallow and wanting to yell. Possibly Scream at the top of my lungs. I consider throwing a 3 minute tantrum full of punching my mattress and hot tears. Will that work? Oh no, I think , I am 3 years old. How can this be? And will they still hire me?

4 comments:

  1. Job hunting is The Worst. I think you deserve to let yourself yell and scream and jump up and down--even if it's just for a few minutes.

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  2. I can so relate to this feeling. Knowing they have several good quality candidates to pick from somehow makes them feel entitled to drag each one through the mud. One interview, then two, then possibly a third... for what? Oh yea, if I eventually get the job, the threat of termination held over my head on a daily basis.
    By the way, I used "impatient" as one of my weaknesses in the last interview.

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  3. Thanks Meesh.

    I actually ended up burying my head in a novel evading the issue entirely. Books are my escape, my cigarettes, my drink, the shoulder i lean on best.

    But I think you're right tantrums can be effective too.

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  4. Thanks Matt. Funny thing about stating your weaknesses - sometimes I sit in the interview and suddenly decide this position is terrible and I don't want the job so I intentionaly offer eyebrow raising descriptions of my weaknesses. It can be funny to watch their face change as their pens scribble suddenly as if gripped by a seizure.

    When I desire the job I use a variation of impatient...I say I am a perfectionist. I describe myself as unable to walk away until the work is completed to my satisfaction.

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