Thursday, June 28, 2007

friend or foe

So this friend, who is not much of a friend, who i sort of got into an argument with during the mini-NY blackout yesterday, ims me as usual. She tells me all of her problems and her solutions and her happiness and i realize suddenly that I don't really care. It's like a cord that has been cut that once linked her to me that seems to be irrevocably beyond repair. This is not about the argument, this is about what she talks about, her attitude, and her ever consuming self absorption. I am not only bored but I am annoyed by her childishly whining ims, overly emotional conversations. I feel bombarded and overwhelmed, almost suffocated. Her personalty now seems brittle, hollow and slightly obnoxious. I now can't help but see her like a void, being nothing, but sucking everything in, and namely my energy and time.

She contacts me this morning. I send her a few well meaning ims in response, but really I know I am just trying to be polite. In a way, I suppose i was a little elated after are argument. I never really thought about how I was enjoying our friendship less, it seems my discontent has grown like an internal symtomless disease only to show its dreadful face upon this situation.

I have just recently stopped stopped making lunch plans with her, not realizing that i no longer enjoyed her company, but just thinking i needed some time to myself. I suppose it won't be much longer. Au revoir.

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